


I like the way you make me feel

by Ireallylovetoastlmao



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Awkwardness, Bisexual Male Character, Depression, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Karl Jacobs Needs a Hug, Kissing, Love at First Sight, M/M, Morning Cuddles, New York City, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Picnics, Social Anxiety, Stargazing, Summer, Tags Are Hard, Walks In The Park, karlnap, skeppy and bad own a bakery, slight skephalo??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:47:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29763981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ireallylovetoastlmao/pseuds/Ireallylovetoastlmao
Summary: Karl has had a hard time enjoying life. He had been thrown into a deep, dark pit of depression, and slept his days away. That was until someone moved next door, who reignited the spark in Karl that he thought was gone. Who knows, maybe it was destiny?
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	1. The Call

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic is also gonna discuss some heavy subjects so if you get triggered easily by the topics listed under, I would advise you to not read this for your own wellbeing<3 
> 
> TW// Depression, Reference to depression

Every day was the same. Wake up, stare at the wall, eat, sleep. The cycle never ended. Since the sun had been swallowed by darkness, the only light Karl ever saw during the week was the few times he had enough energy to play some video games, however now that his depression had gotten the best of him, playing video games wasn't as amusing and serotonin-giving as it used to be. If anything, he felt ever so helpless and alone.

Karl lived alone in an apartment complex in New York. Ever since the breakup happened, he had not seen anyone besides the sweet lady cashier at the local whole foods, and the people working at the laundromat the very few times a month he decided to get up and go wash his clothes and bedding.

Living alone was hard for Karl because his happiness depended on people, especially his ex-girlfriend of 3 years, Bri. They broke up shortly after Karl found out Bri had been cheating on him for over a year. This really crushed Karl. The person he trusted the most, the person he thought he would spend his entire life with -his everything – and for 3 whole years to mean nothing in the matter of seconds threw Karl into a deep, dark pit of depression.

It had been 5 whole months since everything went downhill. Karl could barely get out of bed during the day. He spent his days sleeping, and at night he cried. His heart ached at how empty, and lifeless the apartment was. Every time he was lying in bed, he could feel the cold creep up on him, reminding him of how warm his bed was when Bri was around – how his arms were wrapped around Bris waist. All he wanted to do was to call Bri, tell her how much he misses her, how much he loves her despite everything she did to him, but he knew not to. There was a reason they broke up. It was for the best.

Karl's family had started to worry about him. He cut all contact with them around the time he and Bri broke up. He moved to New York as a result of the split. At first, they didn't mind, they just thought that he needed some space and time to think. Nevertheless, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months without hearing a single peep about Karl - everyday becoming more and more concerning. That is when Karl's mother decided it was about time to reach out, and the second Karl saw the notification “Mom<3 is calling...” his eyes began to tear up, and he answered the call almost immediately.

  
\- “Hello?” He heard his mom say at the other end of the call, with her soft, loving voice.  
\- “Hi mom,” Karl answered. She could hear the sadness in her son's voice almost immediately. They hadn't spoken in a while, but a mother knows when her son is in pain.  
\- “How are you doing Karl? Is everything alright?” She asked, concerned and softly.

There was a long silence, but she let him take his time to talk. She knew it probably wasn't the easiest topic to discuss.

\- “To be honest” Karl started, choking back on his tears, “it's not going well.” As he said this, he broke down. He could not hold it in anymore. Tears were now streaming down his face like a river.  
\- “Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to, but if you can, please do. Your sisters and I are concerned for your well-being. We haven't heard from you in months.” She said, choosing her words carefully to not step on any nerves that could trigger Karls feelings in any kind of way.

And with that, Karls feeling broke out into the open, talking about everything that was going on, from start to finish. He went on and on about how his days were drifting away from him, the agony he was feeling at all times, how it felt like his heart had been ripped right out of his chest, and how he had fallen into a dark abyss. When he wrapped up all his thoughts, his mother said almost immediately:

\- “Karl, honey. You need to seek help,” Karl could hear the seriousness in her voice, “You need someone you can talk to. Especially during the mental state you are in. I am coming to New York as fast as I can. I will not let you live alone like this.”

Karl felt his heart slowly warm up from its normally icy and lifeless state. He had not felt this feeling in an immensely long period of time, not since Bri.

\- “That sounds very nice actually.” Karl said, his mouth curling into a smile, as he wiped his tears and snot away from his face.

The glowing in his chest got stronger and stronger. Maybe this would be the time he got out of his continuous loop of agony, and could feel happiness again. But just maybe.


	2. A New Neighbor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl is on the road to recovery, and decides to take a walk outside, when suddenly he finds out he has gotten a neighbor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Swearing

It had now been a whole month since the phone call that started the entire healing process. The situation was becoming better for Karl, and he had also spoken to his mother every day since. She had recently told him that he should branch out a little, make some new friends when he is ready. The thought scared him. He didn't know anyone in this city, Karl was practically alone in New York City, but she reassured him shortly after that any progress was great progress, and that his current progress - getting up in the morning - was enough for now. 

Karl's mother was a busy lady, and she had to take care of his 3 sisters back home in Oregon as a single mother, but Karl knew that he could trust her when she said she would visit as soon as she could. She would never let him down, especially when his situation was as vulnerable and unstable as this. One day without calling Karl could probably lead to the fall of Karls progress mentally, and his mother didn't want that to happen again, as they had come very far into recovery. 

Karl woke up and chose human interaction. To celebrate the slight lift of the social lockdown he had put himself in, Karl would treat himself to a nice coffee and a pastry at the local bakery downstairs of his apartment, as well as a walk in the park. This was tough for Karl, because he had not left his apartment in quite a long time, and this would be his first case of human interaction in about 3 months or so, ever since he started ordering food and groceries at the door to escape his social anxiety. 

Nevertheless, he was determined to make it. “It's just a short walk downstairs and a little round in the park, don't worry, it's just some fresh air, you got this.” He kept telling himself, as he put on a pair of jeans and an oversized sweater to brace himself for the outside world. He grabbed his keys, phone, and wallet before he took a deep breath and opened the door. 

The first thing he saw was a whole lot of boxes. “What is this?” He thought, walking closer to the pile of cardboard boxes. Suddenly he looked up to see a door, just like his. That's when it hit him. He had trapped himself in his apartment for so long that he didn't even notice he had neighbors. 

There were two doors on his floor, one of them was his door and he didn't even notice the other one until now, even though he's lived in this apartment complex for a little over 8 months now. As he was taking in his surroundings, the door opened and a young male walked out. He had dark, wavy hair with a white bandana tied around his head, beautiful hazel eyes and looked slightly taller than Karl. He was gorgeous, and Karls mouth almost dropped at the sight. 

\- “Hi!” the guy said, his voice somehow being deep yet cheerful, “you must be Karl right?”

\- “Uh, yeah that's me. How did you know?” Karl responded, trying his best to sound happy, and not too aggressive. 

\- “The landlord told me you would be my new neighbor,” he said with a gorgeous and contagious smile that rubbed off on Karl as he began to smile as well. “Im Nick by the way.”

They stood in silence, smiling at each other for a little bit, but weirdly enough it didn't bother them. It was more of a comfortable silence, rather than an awkward silence. Karl quickly snapped back to reality.

\- “I'm gonna go get some coffee, so i'll see you around?” he said, but then he kept thinking about what his mother had said about branching out and before he could think too much about it, he blurted out “or do you wanna like come with me? Since you are probably new to the city and it's always nice to know somebody here you know. So if you want to-” He smiled on the outside, completely panicking on the inside, and kept talking, explaining himself away, until Nick interrupted him. 

\- “Sure! Let me just bring these boxes inside, and then i'll come with you.” Nick answered, as he smiled and proceeded to start carrying the boxes inside.

There was something about the interruption that made Karls heart glow. Nick understood him. He understood that Karl was nervous, and stopped him from further embarrassment by answering before he could ramble even more. 

\- “Sorry for rambling, I can help you if you want.” He chuckled.

\- “That would be nice, thanks.” Nick smiled.

Karl walked over to the boxes, and started carrying some of them inside. After a while there was one box left, and both Nick and Karl walked over to grab it at the same time, their hands brushing up on each other. Both of them looked up, and had some serious eye contact for a few seconds. This caused both of their faces to heat up a bit, cheeks getting slightly pink. 

\- “You can take it.” Karl said quickly while turning away to prevent himself from getting embarrassed at how pink his face was at this point. Nick just chuckled, picked up the box and walked into the apartment with it. 

Why did my heart skip a beat? Wait a minute, I'm straight? Right? His eyes were so dreamy holy crap. I could drown in them. Wait why am I thinking about that? Karls head was flooded with questions and thoughts. He could not stop thinking about the electricity one touch gave him, but just brushed it off when Nick returned. They went downstairs to the bakery, got some coffee, Nick got a croissant and Karl got a donut, and walked over to the park. They talked as if they had known each other for years. Karl found it very comforting. He surprised himself at how easily he opened up to Nick, considering the fact that he had always been the antisocial one. He didn't mention anything about his current mental health issues though, as they weren't that close, and too sober to be going down that path.

After walking around the park for 4 whole hours, talking about anything that crossed their minds, they realized that it was a little late, so they turned around and walked back home. After his entire 1 month of recovery, this was the closest Karl had been to happiness. There was something about that guy. Something special, and Karl knew it.

When they reached the hallway, they looked at each other for a bit.

\- “I had a lot of fun today actually, thank you for joining me.” The older boy said.

\- “No, thank you for asking if I wanted to join you!” The younger boy answered. “So i'll see you around then, Karl?” He said hopefully.

\- “You sure will, my man-” Karl said, pointing finger guns at Nick. 

What the fuck? Why did I do that. Shit. Karl thought to himself, his cheeks reddening significantly every second from embarrassment, wanting to jump in a hole and stay there forever. 

\- “I really don't know why I did that.” He said, embarrassment filling his voice.

Luckly, Nick just laughed it off and made his way into his apartment, closing the door, leaving Karl in the hallway alone. His lips curled into a smile as he could already feel a friendship forming between the two. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I have one more prewritten chapter that I will post very soon, and after that it will probably take some time to post more chapters, but I will try my best to not make it too long between each update! I am also currently writing a dnf fanfic, so if you are interested, ill probably post it some time soon:)


	3. A double date??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick invited Karl to hang out with him and some other friends. They walk to a bakery, getting some pastries, before heading over to the park for a picnic with Nick's friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// Reference to depression

The following days went by quickly. Every day was the same, but this time it was a good thing. Karl would wake up, and get out of bed almost instantly. This was rare, considering the fact that he usually needed about 3 hours to pick up the courage to even dip his foot outside his sheets, on the cold apartment floor. Nevertheless, he would get ready, eat breakfast, and run over to his neighbor, asking if he wanted to hang out. 

Karl and Nick had been hanging out a lot lately, and this friendship was more than enough of a reason to live for Karl. Not only did it  _ keep _ him alive, but it made him  _ want _ to live.  _ Want _ to experience the world from anywhere other than his self loathing pit of emptiness.  _ Want _ to wake up the next morning and see his pretty neighbors face.

After getting ready, Karl made his way across the hallway, over to Nick's apartment, knocked on the door, and was greeted by his neighbors' beaming smile. The smile was contagious, immediately transferring onto Karl's face. Not only was he staring at this beautiful man with the most dashing smile, but he also happened to only be wearing shorts, and a pair of differently colored socks. The sight made Karl's cheeks redden.

\- “Good morning sunshine,” Nick greeted, “sorry for being quite exposed, I just came out of the shower.”

How could Karl complain? The view was astonishing. He would not describe Nick as absolutely ripped, but he surely had a toned chest, and a decent amount of muscles on his arms, leaving Karl absolutely swooned. 

\- “N- No worries!” Karl stuttered, with a smile, “I was wondering if you wanted to hang out or whatever.” He masked his desperation with a casual tone.

\- “I actually have some plans today, Im meeting some friends-” 

Karl's heart sank for a second

\- “But you  _ should _ come with me!” Nick ran his hand through his newly-washed hair, smirking at the shorter man in front of him. “It'll be fun, come on ~ ” He said in a playful manner. 

Karl hesitated. Am I being too clingy? Does he really want me to come? Bottomline is that I really need to socialize a bit - branch out - so why not.

\- “Sure why not,” He answered finally, “Just tell me when you are ready to go, and I'll come back-”

\- “Or you could come in and wait? I'll be ready in just a minute.” Nick interrupted, looking at him, his eyes pleading for him to stay. 

Karl smiled as he walked into the apartment. It looked very similar to his own apartment, but with more colors and way more plants. The light from the sun hit the walls in such a beautiful way, lighting up the entire place. If Karl was to describe the feeling of walking into the apartment, he would say it was like walking into a whole new atmosphere of only comfort and happiness. “I could get used to this.” Karl thought as he sat down on a cute, blue couch, next to a large window, looking over the city.

After quite some time Nick came out of his room, and Karl's jaw immediately dropped to the floor at the sight, making momentary eye contact with the boy. The sun hit his face in a flattering manner, bringing out the beautiful hazel color of the boy's eyes. It left Karl speechless, scrambling to find words to say. The other boy seemed to pick up on this, because he rushed over to Karl, lowered himself, and put a hand on the boy's shoulder.

\- “Are you ok Karl?” He asked, concerned, looking the boy dead into his eyes.

\- “Yeah, yeah, just um-” Karl was still scrambling for words, as he looked into the fire burning brightly in Nick's eyes, “You ready to go?” He finally said, interrupting himself.

\- “Yeah, sure!” Nick said excitedly, “You sure you're ok though?”

\- “Yeah, don't worry about me, I'm doing just amazing, aha.” 

Nick and Karl left the apartment, and went to a bakery on the way to pick up some stuff for their trip to the park. Nick had brought fruit and a lemonade from home, the only thing missing now was some freshly baked pastries. 

Instead of going to the bakery under their apartment complex, they decided to go to a new one. See what the other bakeries in New York had to offer. They stumbled upon a bakery called “Skeppy and Bad's Little Bakery” and after some consideration, they decided to enter the cute, little shop. 

The second they walked in, a delicious wave of warm, muffiny smell hit them.

\- “Hello gentlemen! Looking for anything in particular?” The man behind the cashier said, his voice laced with pure happiness, “My name is Bad!”

\- “Hello Bad, do you have any recommendations?” Nick asked, sweetly in return.

Before Bad answered, the three heard a loud “Shit-” from the backroom.

\- “Language!” Bad yelled to the other man that ran over to him.

\- “Sorry! I dropped the tray of muffins..” The shorter male said, looking at the ground shyly.

\- “It's ok Skeppy, it happens to the best of us.” Bad said forgivingly.

Bad then realized that the two other men stood there in complete silence, smiling while waiting for an answer.

\- “Oh, meet-” Bad started, looking at them while waiting for their names.

\- “Hi, I'm Nick and this is Karl!” Nick answered for them both, chuckling a little.

\- “So what can we get for the happy couple?” Skeppy said, smiling brightly, while leaning on Bad.

Nick and Karl stood there both wide eyed as they blushed at the remark, looking at each other for a split second before turning quickly because of the eye contact. 

\- “Oh we aren't-” Nick said quickly

\- “We are just friends-” Karl followed up

Skeppy slapped a hand across his mouth, wide-eyed as well.

\- “Oh I am so sorry, I just thought-” Skeppy started, embarrassed. 

\- “No no, your fine.” Karl smiled, trying to cover up his internal panic.

\- “It's ok, really.” Nick chuckled, scratching the back of his head, his cheeks dusted with a light pink blush.

\- “We are very sorry for the fuss we have caused during your short visit. Let us repay you with some free muffins, yeah?” Bad said, nudging into Skeppy's side, waiting for him to confirm.

\- “Yeah! We have chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, blueberry, and lemon muffins. You can get 2 of each?” He answered, smiling hopelessly.

\- “It's fine you don't have to-” Karl started but was interrupted by Bad already handing them the box of muffins.

\- “No, please take them. We hope you have a great day, and we hope to see you guys again!” Bad waved at them, giving off one last, bright smile before the two boys thanked for the muffins and headed out the door. 

They could hear a final “Skeppy you muffinhead!” before closing the door behind them, and laughed at the remark.

\- “So um, that was weird, aha.” Nick said, embarrassed and flustered.

\- “Yeah, so weird, aha, why would they think that we were a couple.” Karl responded, just as embarrassed and flustered as the taller boy.

The boys were walking side by side, and all of a sudden their hands brushed upon each other, causing both of them to retract quickly, blushing even more than they did previously. The small touch had the same electricity as the one they had when Karl helped Nick with the boxes. The first time they met. 

Karl slowly shot a look over at the tall boy again, really admiring the man's beautiful facial features. Seemed like Nick had a similar plan because they ended up having eye contact yet again. This time, Nick just gave the shorter boy a smile, as they continued walking to the park.

After some time, they finally arrived at the park, Nick pulling out a blanket out of his bag and placed it gracefully on the grass. The boys sat down, looking around while taking in the luscious summer sun and its warmth. Karl wanted to stay like this forever. 

Suddenly Nick turned around and started waving his hands in the air.

\- “George! Clay! Over here!” He shouted, his voice filled with pure excitement. 

Karl turned around to see a tall blonde with a short brunette on his back, them both laughing frantically while waving as they ran towards the other two. It was such a cute moment, Karl thought. If only he had someone to be like that with. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final prewritten chapter, so updates will probably take a bit longer from now on, but I will try my best to do so as quick as I can <3 Enjoy!


	4. Stargazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl meets Nicks friends in the park. They talk, laugh and have a good time, until they decide to lay down and look at the stars. But what happens when Nicks friends leave?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No TW this chapter, just fluff :D

After a few stumbles and laughs, George and Clay finally made it to the other boys.

\- “Sorry if we are a bit late,” the blonde started, “We got a bit distracted..” He shot George a mischievous look, making the brunette blush tremendously.

\- “Clay!!” He laughed embarrassed, as he playfully hit the taller boy. 

The two then noticed Karl standing next to Nick, quietly while smiling at them. Karl had unconsciously taken a hold of Nick's hand. It was his first time hanging out with more people than only Nick, and he was naturally very nervous.

\- “So this is the infamous Karl?” George said, smiling excitedly at Karl, “So are you guys dating or what?”

Karl's face lit up, about the same shade as a tomato. He looked over at Nick, who was also blushing excessively while letting out a giggle.

\- “Oh my god, this is the second time someone has asked us that in the span of one hour.” Nick laughed, “But no, we are just friends.” He said, as he shot Karl a warm smile.

That hurt. Even though they were not anywhere near a romantic relationship, the words “just friends” still stung. Karl had daydreamed too much about the idea of a relationship with Nick, he found it a bit hard to separate his thoughts from reality.

\- “Oh god I'm sorry. It's a shame though, you guys look very cute together.” George said with a wink.

The sun had started to set, leaving the once blue sky in a lavish pink and orange haze. The group had been in the park for a couple of hours, talking about anything and everything on their minds. This reminded Karl a lot of his first walk with Nick, how smooth conversation was with them.

\- “And while he was sleeping, he accidentally peed all over the bed!” George was in the middle of telling a story; the “Pissbaby” story as he called it, “That's not even the craziest part yet, because he cleaned it all up while I was still sleeping next to him-” The brunette was on the verge of tears while telling the story, everyone laughing with him.

\- “Why do you feel the need to tell everyone we meet that story George, you're such an idiot.” Clay chuckled, in a fake-hurt voice.

\- “Oh come on babe, it's a funny story!” George responded, still laughing, “I'm sorry..” He said in a pleading, puppy eyed manner.

Clay cast himself over George and started tickling him, before closing the gap between them with a short, yet romantic kiss.

\- “You are forgiven Georgie, but only because you are adorable.” He said, smiling from ear to ear.

Soon, the sunset had been replaced by a dark blue, starry night sky, and the warmth had been replaced with a cool, nighttime breeze. The group were lying down, stargazing, while listening to music. The current song playing was It's Not The Same Anymore by Rex Orange County. Karl had always found comfort in that song. He glanced over at Nick, admiring his side profile while he examined the stars. He then turned around, looking over at George and Clay, the brunette's face being nuzzled into the crook of the blonde's arm in a warm embrace. Clay was running his hand through George's hair. It was adorable, and Karl couldn't help but imagine if Nick was holding him, running his hand through his hair instead.

His thoughts were interrupted when Clay broke the silence, a soft whisper emitting from his lips.

\- “I think it's getting a little late,” He started, looking down at George with a warm smile, “and somebody is getting a bit sleepy too.”

Karl and Nick sat up, looking over at George who was snoring quietly.

\- “Well it was nice seeing you guys again. My question is how you are going to bring George home with you again.” Nick chuckled lightly.

\- “I'm thinking bridal style.” Clay smiled, standing up, before putting his arms under George's neck and knees, and lifting the boy up towards his chest. George responded by wrapping his arms tightly around Clays neck.

At first Clay wobbled a little, getting used to the weight of George, but after a little while of adjusting he finally got the hang of it.

\- “It was really fun today! Would love to hang out again some time, so you guys ever feel like doing it again, we are only one call away.” Clay said with a wink.

\- “Bye, it was very nice to meet you guys.” Karl smiled.

\- “Lovely meeting you too Karl!” Clay said, giving his goodbyes before walking away, with George around his neck.

When Clay and George were out of sight, Nick turned around to meet Karl's eyes.

\- “Do you wanna leave or stay a bit longer?” Nick asked.

\- “Maybe stay a little longer?” Karl responded.

Nick gave him a nod, and the two laid back down, gazing at the magnificent blanket of stars above them. It was a breathtaking sight, millions of stars burning bright above the two.

Suddenly, Karl felt like someone was watching him. He turned to his side, to see Nick's eyes on him. When his eyes met the other boys, Nick didn't even bother to turn. He just kept looking at him with a warm smile.

He got closer by the second, looking at me with a questioning face, presumably asking for consent. Karl softly nodded, not breaking eye contact, before the taller boy hovered above him and closed the gap, both closing their eyes and melting into the kiss.

Everything seemed to align for Karl. He didn't think much of it, but it just felt right. The kiss was short - even though it felt like it lasted forever - and romantic, making Karl feel like they were the only two people in the world. Karl reached up to put his hands around Nick's face, while the other boy wrapped his arms around Karl's waist, pulling him closer. He could feel the warmth Nick was radiating, and hoped the kiss would never end, but alas, it did.

When Nick pulled away - both their faces flushed, eyes sparkling , and hearts beating out of their chests - they didn't say anything. Instead, they just stared at each other, processing what had just happened.

Soon, Nick broke the comfortable silence between the two.

\- “You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that.”

The fact that they had the same things in mind made Karl's insides flutter. It was just something about knowing that he wasn't falling for someone with zero interest in him.

\- “To be completely honest, same.” He responded, blushing before leaning over, locking lips with the taller boy yet again.

The walk home went by pretty quickly, since conversation flowed so easily between the two. They talked about anything, mostly embarrassing stories from events in their lives, laughing while holding hands. Judging by the looks they received, they probably looked drunk, but that was the least of Karl's worries. He was happy. He felt safe. He felt loved.

When they walked into the apartment building, the atmosphere changed. It became a bit sad, and gloomy; probably because Karl knew he and Nick would go their separate ways.

Nick headed for the door, while Karl walked over to his own.

\- “So, I actually had a lot of fun today.” Karl said, smiling weakly, trying to mask the fact that he wanted to stay with Nick forever.

\- “Yeah, me too. I guess this is where we go our separate ways then?” Nick questioned. There was something in his voice that longed for Karl to stay with him. 

\- “I guess it is. Goodnight Nick.” 

Karl turned around, pressing his key in the door and turning it around to hear a soft click of the lock opening. He hesitated on opening the door, while staring at it and hoping that Nick would turn around at any given moment and ask-

-“Or do you wanna maybe sleep over at my place tonight?”

Karl turned around at superspeed. This man really just read his mind.

\- “That would be nice.” Karl said as he ran over, jumping into the boys arms, wrapping his legs around his waist, and burying his face into the others neck with a giggle.

The two stumbled into Nick's apartment - one carrying the other - giggling as they closed the door behind them, heading straight for the bedroom.

Everything felt like it made sense to Karl now. He was definitely not straight, to say the least, but he brushed off the thought temporarily. He had other things to focus on for the moment; specifically the gorgeous brunette carrying him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the setting and plot of this chapter, but I still feel like it was a bit rushed, so im sorry for that <3


	5. The nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl wakes up in Nicks arms, the sun is shining, and his heart is glowing. It takes a quick turn when Karl drifts off, entering the nightmare he so desperately tried to get rid of in the past. Happiness is never permanent, is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// Depression, Reference to depression, Swearing

The early sunbeams poured onto the walls, lighting up the room ever so gracefully. The warmth that bounced off the sunlight-covered walls was gentle, mixed with the refreshing breeze flowing through the slightly open window, making the curtains dance. Karl's opened his eyes slowly, blinking softly while adjusting to his surroundings. He found himself in Nick's arms, feeling happier than ever.

The other boy had his arms wrapped around Karl's waist, holding him in a comfortably tight fashion as if he was being protected from any evil around him. He rested his chin on Nick's chest, admiring how Nick's facial features looked in the sun. Karl could hear the brunettes heart beating, and felt his chest go up and down at every breath. 

Soon, Nick woke up and looked down at the boy nestled in his arm, meeting his eyes. This made Karl's heart stop and cheeks redden. Nick's hair was all ruffled up, messy dark curls covering parts of his hazel eyes. He was so gorgeous. So godlike. It was surreal for Karl to be held by someone so beautiful. 

\- “Good morning cutie,” Nick started, his voice raspy and deep due to him just waking up, “Like what you see?” He smirked.

\- “I do, actually..” Karl mumbled, truthfully.

  
Nick just smiled, and leaned down to kiss the smaller boy's forehead. The gesture made them both blush. Karl yawned as he turned around, backing up onto Nick's chest, as Nick brought him closer. They both closed their eyes, letting their thoughts go as they drifted away, into another deep slumber. 

  
  
  


Karl opened his eyes. He looked around, confused when he was met with nothing but darkness. He reached out and patted his side of the bed. It was cold. Nick was gone. 

Tears welled up in the corner of his eyes, as his breath hitched. He felt so alone. Where was Nick? His heart sank, as he was met with a flat voice.

\- “You know he doesn't love you right?” The voice called out, somehow loudly and quietly at the same time.

\- “Who's there!” Karl asked the darkness surrounding him. He didn't see anyone near him, so why was someone talking?

\- “Doesn't matter. He doesn't love you. How are you so naive Karl, you could never be loved.”

The words cut deep, making Karl tear up even more. He had tried to escape these thoughts for so long, pushing them down more and more as he got happier, but there was only a matter of time until he couldn't take it anymore. Now the thoughts were back, and they seemed to have more control over him than last time.

\- “Come on Karl, you should know this by now. Everyone you think loves you, just stab you in the back. Has your mother visited yet? And do you want me to start on Bri-” The voice laughed, but got interrupted by Karl finally collecting his breath to speak.

\- “You don't get to talk to me like that! Leave me alone! I am finally happy, and you don't get to ruin that for me.” He shouted, but the thoughts were inevitable.

“Maybe the voice is right. Mom never visited. She's probably ashamed of me. I don't blame her, I would be too.” Karl's thoughts were racing, taking in everything that was said. 

\- “Just admit it. You are a waste. You drag everyone around you down. You are a worthless piece of shit.”

Karl tried to fight it, but it was useless. He had already fallen too deep into his thoughts. There was no escape this time. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. No ladder out of the hole. Just a bottomless void that he sank deeper and deeper into. And with a sharp inhale, he woke up in a cold sweat. 

His eyes shot to his eyes, as he sat up quickly. His breath was trapped in his throat, struggling to get out, while tears poured down his face. The sun outside had been covered by gloomy clouds, and the warmth of the man that used to lay next to him was gone. Nick wasn't anywhere to be seen. Abandoned just like that. Nobody loved him. Maybe the voice was right after all?

Nick rushed into the room after hearing Karl's soft sobs and sniffles. He kneeled on the side of the bed, taking Karl's hands into his own.

\- “Karl what's wrong?” He asked, his voice laced with concern. Sadly, Karl was blind to the fear in his voice.

\- “Get off me.” Karl quickly snatched his hands back, and pushed Nick to the side while standing up.

\- “You don't have to..pretend like you..care. I know you..don't.” He said in between sniffles and inhales, tears now spilling uncontrollably from his eyes. His voice came out bitter and low-spirited.

Nick looked at Karl, shocked at what the boy had just said. His eyes started to tear up, small particles of salt water forming in the corners. 

\- “Of course I care about you Karl!” Nick's voice cracked, “Please talk to me, what happened?” He said, terrified and desperate

\- “Just stop it! You never did, and never will. Just accept the fact that I'm unlovable, and I bring everyone down with me. I don't wanna do that to you.” 

Karl's voice was broken, yet spiked with the tiniest bit of anger. His throat hurt at how much he was crying now, and his heart felt like it was sinking deeper and deeper into a dark abyss, shattering more and more by the second. He looked up, meeting Nick's gaze, his shattered, and broken gaze. He was still in disbelief after hearing everything that had come out of Karl's mouth. Everything was so nice a couple of hours ago. What happened?

Enough was enough, Karl could not take it anymore. He could not bear seeing Nick's watery eyes another second. He needed to be alone, where he knew he could not hurt anyone.

\- “I have to go.” He said, flatly.

\- “Is it something I did? I'm sorry if it is. I'm sorry if it's because I left the bed, I was making breakfast for us-” Nick started, but was interrupted.

\- “I have to go, just leave me alone.” He said, just as monotone as the first time. 

Before Nick managed to stop him, he walked right past him. Every step he took away from Nick felt like a punch to his stomach. Every step hurt, but it was for the best. Nick deserved someone who had their shit together, not someone who dragged them down.

When he arrived at the door, he looked back, seeing the broken mess of a boy he had left behind, sobbing.

\- “Please Karl! Don't go!” He managed to push out between sobs.

\- “I'm sorry.” Karl said, before walking out, closing the door behind him. 

He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He catched a glimpse at the screen, seeing his mother had sent multiple messages, followed by multiple missed calls. Karl couldn't care less. She didn't love him either, he told himself.

When he reached the end of the hallway, he grabbed his keys, twisted the lock, and opened the door. He was hit with a terrifyingly cold wind, but didn't mind it too much, as his only goal was to make it to his bed. 

He finally made it to his bed, and was sent crashing down towards the sheets, drowning in them as he let his mind be at ease. Maybe some rest would help shake the pain away. He hadn't felt as helpless as this in such a long time, but it was for the best. At least he could not hurt Nick anymore, right? This was the best for everyone, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im going to apologize for the angst. It kinda came out of nowhere and it probably doesn't make sense to you guys, but it makes sense in my head xd I wrote this in the span of like 2-3 hours, while being very unfocused and uninspired so I don't know if I hate it or like it myself lol  
> I can make a chapter explaining this if you guys are confused <3
> 
> And sorry for the late update. Ive been having writers block, and been pretty busy with school, etc. I'll try my best to update more frequently, but I cant promise anything.
> 
> If you have any critiques, conspiracies, etc, feel free to leave them in the comments <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am new to this platform and this is my first ever fanfic, so I hope you like it. I dont know if I will continue writing this, as it takes a lot of energy that I dont have, but I will try my best to update it. This fic will not have any smut btw, because im not comfortable enough with writing about that yet<3  
> Last thing to note is that english is not my first language, so there might be some typos here and there, so if you happen to see one, please point it out so I can fix it:) Anyways, I hope you enjoy this fic and feel free to leave any critisism, compliments, suggestions, theories, etc in the comments, regardless if its about the fic or just general tips about this platform, they really help me out!:)


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